Today I have the lucky priviledge of being invited to a wedding. Why is it that whenever you mention the word wedding, women seem to always geta smile on their face. I’m just a typical guy born and raised in a conservative caucasian family. And let me tell you when I hear the word, I don't smile. Not because I don't like weddings. Even though I do think they are overated. I'm not sure why I don't smile. Maybe it's the fact that I'm 33 single and have no wedding plans insight. In fact I don't even have a girlfriend in sight. At this point in time, I have just about decided to completely give up on finding that right person for me. It's such an endless struggle. Just about everyone I known says I'm too picky. But I don't think that's the case. Maybe I'm just way too cautious. I have seen alot of divorce all around me. And I'm really afraid of being just another divorce statistic. So I want to make sure the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with is the right girl for me.
Maybe I don't really like weddings because they are a reminder of the fact that I am still single. I always kind of had my future mapped out in my head and I'm not at that very place in time, I thought I would be right now. By nowI always thought I would be married and have a couple of kids. Now I'm to the point where I don't even know if I want kids anymore. I guess it's not thatI don't like weddings. Because I usually have a good time at them. It must be, I don't like the reminder of where I'm not at in my life. So one wedding today and one in a few weeks. May the wedding couples be blessed with marriage bliss. I hope they both end up with the story book wedding. Women always dream of. And cheers to myself, may I find much to smile about know matter what those weddings may remind me of.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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4 comments:
Hey Anthony,
How's it going? Anytime you are wanting something all you have to do is just change your words and shift your focus a little bit. Instead of focusing on what you don't want or the lack of a relationship, focus on what you do want.
The first thing I do is make up a list of all the things I don't want in a relationship. In order to find out what I want I have to express what I don't want.
Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. At the top write "My Ideal Relationship." On the left hand side, write down everything you don't like about being in a relationship. You can refer to past relationships for ideas. For example. "I don't like to be criticized by my partner." On the right side you will write what you do want. You can write, "I want a partner who respects my ideas and thoughts."
On the left you can write, "I don't want a partner that cheats on me." On the right side you would write, "I want a partner that is loyal and faithful to me at all times."
Once you finish your list(which for some can be up to 50 items if they are really specific), you can now cross out everything on the left side, forget about it, and start to focus on everything that you expressed on the right side.
Really start to focus on what you want. Feel the emotions associated with being in a loving relationship. "What we think about we bring about." You can use this exercise for any aspect of your life. I just made a list last night for a new business venture that I'm attempting. I drew my list from the past businesses that I had started and have since failed.
I realize now that I need to focus on exactly what I want. I didn't have that mentality before and that is why I failed in the past. I will continue to fail but that's good because I will learn from these mistakes and do better the next time.
Don't let negativity from yourself or others deter you from what ever you want whether it's a relationship, good health, or improved finances. Stay focused.
I recommend reading "Law Of Attraction" by Michael Losier. I got the idea of making the list from him. It's such a great exercise. Anthony, create the existence you want. The one you really deserve. Blessings to you and yours.
QuoteGuy(Dex)
I was at a wedding a week ago, and where i was , weddings are a big deal (Uganda). And as i looked at the bride come down (or up, i can never tell) the isle, i thought about weddings and marriages. I've never been a big fan of weddings (the costs and the stress), and the fact that i don't believe that it shows any kind of commitment on any of the partners part. If the guy/ girl is a cheat, he/she is still going to do it whether they walk down the isle or not. So all that glamour is just showbiz that is not really necessary.Marriages are maybe important in developing countries where men will still walk out on their families five years after living together and abandon the children, and without the marriage certificate, the woman has to take care of the kids, while most will be housewives who were completely dependent.
I do get the urge (if you can call it that) to get married every time i see a wedding dress, or see wedding pictures, but i remind myself that they (the couple) are not always as happy as they look that day, and not all have love as the reason of marrying.
I'm a 33 year old guy too, and had no plans to have a girlfriend or (*gasp*) wife for a very long time either. I had spent the past 10 years in a touring rock band and found a major problem with every single girl I was "with". I wasn't necessarily searching for a long time partner, but there weren't any out there that I thought were major contenders either. However, one night it just happened when I least expected it to. I walked into a club in europe and I saw her, she saw me and over the next week or so we discovered how much were alike. Anyways, my point is that finding a person that you'll want to spend the rest of your life with is not impossible, but they aren't easy to find either. The only way to meet them when the time is right for both of you is to meet as many women as possible. Just make sure you don't get too involved with someone you know isn't right for you. It's okay to be picky, just make sure you're still open for it. When you meet the right one, you will DEFINITELY know. For some it happens right away, for others it can take a lifetime to find a match for you. Still others are so excited by the idea that they end up forcing something thats not right just because they want it so bad. You know these people; always have a boyfriend or girlfriend, can't be alone. Always dreaming of marriage. Also, make sure while you're looking for someone with all the traits, that you too have all the right traits to offer them. If you've a lot of emotional baggage, then only people with emotional baggage will go for you. Be what you expect others to be.
Long story short, I'm getting married in 3 months and I haven't the slightest doubt in my mind that it is a correct decision. Being with this person brings out the best in me, not the worst.
Good Luck and Make sure you lead the conga line!
It's refreshing to hear that a wedding can make a guy feel insecure, since so often it's the single women you hear moaning about that sort of thing.
Two in one month, sounds like the dominos are falling in your social circle. Keep smilin', Anthony...great blog, BTW.
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